Itri: A Lazio travel tale from Hell
For nearly two years, TraveLazio has given you things to do and see in nearly 50 little towns around Rome’s Lazio region. Every other week we have trucked down a lonely road or rail to find little-known places that would make a wonderful day trip from Rome. We always found our way.
Then Saturday we got derailed. We were left on the side of the road, our thumbs sticking out, feeling as if we were lost on the other side of the Moon.
The idea was sound. Itri. It’s a town of about 10,000 people 90 miles (150 kilometers) south of Rome and 10 miles inland from Sperlonga, one of our favorite beach towns in Italy.
We only knew of Itri because we made a diversion there after a long day on Sperlonga’s beach six years ago.
We remember a pleasant piazza, no tourists and the best damn margherita pizza we’ve ever had. It’s a 90-minute direct train shot from Rome. The perfect day trip.
What it became was the perfect travel tale from Hell.
It started bad the night before. Doing my research I saw the pizzeria, La Tavernetta, had permanently closed, possibly a victim of Covid economics. OK, we’ll wing lunch. We’ll catch the 8:30 a.m. train from Rome, arrive in Itri at 10, catch the 2:05 train back and be home by mid-afternoon.
The easiest way to Termini train station is by Rome’s Metro subway. Marina lives about two kilometers from the nearest Metro station. Right in front of her building is a bus stop where a bus can take us to the Metro station in 20 minutes.
She insisted on driving to the Metro.
Now keep in mind that it’s easier to find an Ancient Roman coin in Rome than a parking spot. We drove to the station and found nothing. We drove up the hill from the station and found nothing. We drove around the station and found nothing.
I picked up our argument where I left off and started gaining the advantage. It helped my argument that 30 minutes had gone by and only a military helicopter could get us to make our 8:30 train. By the time the 9:30 train looked doubtful, we were exchanging gunfire.
Marina eventually waved the white flag. “Ho sbagliato! (I made a mistake!)” she said. We drove back to her building, parked and went to her bus stop. Oops. No bus for 15 minutes. We then walked as if fleeing a soccer mob and took the Metro to Termini.
Greeting us at the Termini bar was John, my fellow American expat, who was working on his third cornetto and third cappuccino and was on a caffeine rush that alone could’ve fueled us to Itri.
The train south was uneventful. We talked about seeing Itri’s 9th century castle, the 11th century Chiesa San Michele Arcangelo and the Sanctuary of the Madonna della Civita just outside town. Online we found a nice restaurant in Piazza Armando Diaz called Osteria Murat.
When the train dumped us off at Itri, something was off. Unlike nearly all towns in Italy, Itri’s station was outside town. It was a three-kilometer walk to the center. No problem. I can hoof three kilometers in about 20 minutes.
However, the road was a narrow two-lane highway. It had no sidewalk. It had no shoulder. Cars flew past at 120 kilometers per hour so close we could blow dry our hair.
We found two steps up to an olive grove where he huddled while mulling our options. We had three: One, walk and decide who takes the responsibility if one of us gets crushed by a Fiat; two, return to the station and find another destination; three, hitchhike.
That was my idea.
I’d hitchhiked in Italy before. In 1978 during a solo trip around the world, my Eurail pass expired and I hitchhiked through Northern Italy to Switzerland to Austria and into Hungary. I averaged about 20 minutes a wait.
However, I never hitchhiked with two other people including one guy who is 6-foot-2 like me, is as bald as a nuclear warhead and looks like he could eat your children for an aperitivo.
We tried. All three of us leaned out over the road with our thumbs out, looking like extras in a bad Broadway musical. One car went by. Two cars went by. Three. Four. An endless stream didn’t even look us in the eye.
By this time it was 12:30 and the day was disappearing fast. We had nothing to write for our next TraveLazio. Itri would be reduced to one line about how to get there.
Drive.
We returned to the station and waited 30 minutes for the next train to Gaeta. We had changed trains at Gaeta for Itri and Gaeta is a great day trip. Excellent beach, an 11th century cathedral and home to arguably the best olives in Italy.
We reached the Gaeta station at about 1. One problem: The station is called Formia-Gaeta. It serves both towns but the station is actually in Formia. We mindlessly hopped a bus outside the station. The driver told us he was going to Gaeta.
Nope.
He drove to Formia’s ugly port which would only make a day trip if you were shipwrecked. Feeling our deadline approach like a charging wild boar, I frantically looked up Formia online. What to see? What to do? Where to eat?
Nothing. I found more information on abandoned trading posts in Algeria. A local gave us directions to the city center and we found a bus stop with a sign showing some points of interest. It listed the Torre di Castellone, a 14th century tower a couple kilometers away, the Tomba di Cicerone, Cicero’s tomb which was on the outskirts of town and temporarily closed, and the Torre di Mola which we could see farther down the street.
Torre di Mola is a 13th century tower 27 meters high and is the remains of a medieval castle that defended against naval invasions. On Saturday it was closed. It was ugly. It was boring.
However, the day was saved. The best thing about living in Italy is no matter how lousy a day you have – and our day stunk like last month’s gorgonzola – you always have food to look forward to.
A seafood restaurant called La Nassa had a sign indicating terrace seating outside. OK. We’ll have a nice seafood lunch in the cool sun while looking out at the Tyrrhenian Sea. Instead, we were seated on a terrace that was enclosed with a view of a parking lot.
It was a really nice parking lot, but we couldn’t see a drop of ocean.
Fortunately, this travel tale from Hell has a happy ending. Lunch was superb. I had fresh herb-crusted salmon, Marina had yummy calamari and John had excellent spaghetti vongole. We washed it all down with a nice Fiano white wine from the nearby Campania region.
So for your TraveLazio viewing pleasure today, here is your sole info:
Where to eat:
We paid €94 for three, including dessert.
